The Surgery - Before & After
I haven't posted anything in a while. Sorry. Several times I wrote part of a post... then put it aside. I kept opening it, and then closing it. I haven't been in a mental place where I could finish and publish it. Surgery took a lot out of me (get it?) and I'm still recovering.
It's been over two months since the first surgery. I was delusional regarding the impact and the time it would take to heal. I had no idea recovery would be so slow, painful and gross. I also hadn't planned on having a bag of poop glued to my abdomen for a month. Surprise!
Looking back, the days leading up to surgery are a total blur. The eye of the storm was a fantastic time but it was also incredibly hectic. I wanted to accomplish Everything before surgery. The reality is I was terrified and freaking out but trying to be cool and be a good dad and be a good husband and get things done around the house. I also wasn't sleeping well, or enough. When the day of surgery finally came, it was a relief. A terrifying relief.
The familiarity of the preoperative holding area was nice. I miss beeping monitors and starting IVs and calming anxious patients. I hadn't been in that environment since March and it was good to be in that place and hear the familiar banter. Of course my IV took two tries 🙄 but the epidural was a breeze. Things get a little fuzzy after the epidural because of the drugs they gave me to chill me out. I vaguely remember going to the OR and holding my own mask. Then they knocked me out and cut me in half.
True Story: I managed to make it to a professional conference in the Poconos in early October. While there I ran into a great guy who was a year ahead of me in school. He asked how things had gone since the surgery and when I started talking about the whole process, he got a funny look. Didn't I remember seeing him right before surgery? Nope! But his story did trigger a vague memory of me explaining to Melissa who he was and how I knew him. His actual visit is completely gone. Surprise!
After the surgery, my existence consisted of waiting. Waiting for the NGT to come out. Waiting for the epidural to come out. Waiting for the Foley catheter to come out. Waiting for the ostomy to be reversed. Waiting for my abs to stop screaming every time I sneezed or tried to sit up. Waiting for the new plumbing to stabilize. My physical integrity was shattered and I have no control over healing times. So I sat and I waited.
Surgery was on a Tuesday. The NGT was pulled out on Wednesday morning. Thursday I walked nearly a mile in three separate stints and I was feeling like a boss. Friday I planned on walking an entire mile throughout the day. I did my 1/4 in the morning with plans for 1/2 at lunch and 1/4 in the evening. But Friday morning they pulled the epidural and the wheels came off of the recovery train. Surprise!
By late Friday morning I was in more pain than I've ever felt in my whole life. When people ask me about the surgery, I joke about being cut in half and scooped out like a jack-o-lantern. 🎃 It's a joke, but accurate and as painful as you imagine. You know the scene in the samurai movie when the guy gets impaled and lifted up by the sword? It felt like that.
From my perspective, the surgery had three major components. First, an incision down the middle of my belly from the ribs to the pubic bone. Second, cutting out the entire left lobe of my liver. Don't worry, you have four and the left is only the second biggest lobe! Third, scooping out over a foot of colon and the surrounding tissues, lymph nodes and whatnot and then reconnecting the plumbing. Like a pumpkin but with lymph nodes instead of seeds. Let's put 'em on a cookie sheet with some butter and spices! Mmmmm... lymphtastic!
Once the epidural wore off, I felt all three components in excruciating detail. It took a lot of IV pain medication, but eventually I stopped sweating and cursing. Friday afternoon is, of course, when friends and family stopped by. Sorry I wasn't good company, I was either in agony or stoned. Surprise!
Thankfully, the pain was manageable once I got ahead of it. Saturday I just took oral medications and Sunday I went home. One week after surgery, Tylenol was enough to keep the pain tolerable.
We came home Sunday evening and discovered a problem. Sitting was painful and lying down was impossible. In the hospital, I slept in a hospital bed which adjusted like a recliner. At home, without a hospital bed, or a recliner, I struggled to find a comfortable position. A friend lent us their "zero gravity" chair and I lived in that thing for weeks.
One month after surgery, I went back for another. I had the plastic bag of human feces surgically removed from my abdomen. Turns out having a bag of shit glued to you isn't any fun. Surprise!
The disgusting and depressing details of the 'poop bag' (as my daughters called it) is it's own story. I plan to tell it soon.
Luckily, recovery from the reversal was faster than recovery from the first, but I still spent many nights in the chair.
These days my abs feel intact. I can sit up and twist around and reach for things without screaming or cursing. I can sneeze and cough without crying. I can get things done, but I have no endurance. Walking the kids to school is a workout and doing thirty minutes of work usually ends with me passing out on the sofa. It's hard. Harder than I thought, but better than dying of cancer. 👍 Besides, I do pretty well with adversity. I even manufacture my own when there isn't enough to suit my tastes. You've probably seen me do it. 😜
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| Before & After - Rainbow Version May 2014 & August 2017 |
It's been over two months since the first surgery. I was delusional regarding the impact and the time it would take to heal. I had no idea recovery would be so slow, painful and gross. I also hadn't planned on having a bag of poop glued to my abdomen for a month. Surprise!
Looking back, the days leading up to surgery are a total blur. The eye of the storm was a fantastic time but it was also incredibly hectic. I wanted to accomplish Everything before surgery. The reality is I was terrified and freaking out but trying to be cool and be a good dad and be a good husband and get things done around the house. I also wasn't sleeping well, or enough. When the day of surgery finally came, it was a relief. A terrifying relief.
The familiarity of the preoperative holding area was nice. I miss beeping monitors and starting IVs and calming anxious patients. I hadn't been in that environment since March and it was good to be in that place and hear the familiar banter. Of course my IV took two tries 🙄 but the epidural was a breeze. Things get a little fuzzy after the epidural because of the drugs they gave me to chill me out. I vaguely remember going to the OR and holding my own mask. Then they knocked me out and cut me in half.
True Story: I managed to make it to a professional conference in the Poconos in early October. While there I ran into a great guy who was a year ahead of me in school. He asked how things had gone since the surgery and when I started talking about the whole process, he got a funny look. Didn't I remember seeing him right before surgery? Nope! But his story did trigger a vague memory of me explaining to Melissa who he was and how I knew him. His actual visit is completely gone. Surprise!
After the surgery, my existence consisted of waiting. Waiting for the NGT to come out. Waiting for the epidural to come out. Waiting for the Foley catheter to come out. Waiting for the ostomy to be reversed. Waiting for my abs to stop screaming every time I sneezed or tried to sit up. Waiting for the new plumbing to stabilize. My physical integrity was shattered and I have no control over healing times. So I sat and I waited.
Surgery was on a Tuesday. The NGT was pulled out on Wednesday morning. Thursday I walked nearly a mile in three separate stints and I was feeling like a boss. Friday I planned on walking an entire mile throughout the day. I did my 1/4 in the morning with plans for 1/2 at lunch and 1/4 in the evening. But Friday morning they pulled the epidural and the wheels came off of the recovery train. Surprise!
By late Friday morning I was in more pain than I've ever felt in my whole life. When people ask me about the surgery, I joke about being cut in half and scooped out like a jack-o-lantern. 🎃 It's a joke, but accurate and as painful as you imagine. You know the scene in the samurai movie when the guy gets impaled and lifted up by the sword? It felt like that.
From my perspective, the surgery had three major components. First, an incision down the middle of my belly from the ribs to the pubic bone. Second, cutting out the entire left lobe of my liver. Don't worry, you have four and the left is only the second biggest lobe! Third, scooping out over a foot of colon and the surrounding tissues, lymph nodes and whatnot and then reconnecting the plumbing. Like a pumpkin but with lymph nodes instead of seeds. Let's put 'em on a cookie sheet with some butter and spices! Mmmmm... lymphtastic!
Once the epidural wore off, I felt all three components in excruciating detail. It took a lot of IV pain medication, but eventually I stopped sweating and cursing. Friday afternoon is, of course, when friends and family stopped by. Sorry I wasn't good company, I was either in agony or stoned. Surprise!
Thankfully, the pain was manageable once I got ahead of it. Saturday I just took oral medications and Sunday I went home. One week after surgery, Tylenol was enough to keep the pain tolerable.
We came home Sunday evening and discovered a problem. Sitting was painful and lying down was impossible. In the hospital, I slept in a hospital bed which adjusted like a recliner. At home, without a hospital bed, or a recliner, I struggled to find a comfortable position. A friend lent us their "zero gravity" chair and I lived in that thing for weeks.
One month after surgery, I went back for another. I had the plastic bag of human feces surgically removed from my abdomen. Turns out having a bag of shit glued to you isn't any fun. Surprise!
The disgusting and depressing details of the 'poop bag' (as my daughters called it) is it's own story. I plan to tell it soon.
Luckily, recovery from the reversal was faster than recovery from the first, but I still spent many nights in the chair.
These days my abs feel intact. I can sit up and twist around and reach for things without screaming or cursing. I can sneeze and cough without crying. I can get things done, but I have no endurance. Walking the kids to school is a workout and doing thirty minutes of work usually ends with me passing out on the sofa. It's hard. Harder than I thought, but better than dying of cancer. 👍 Besides, I do pretty well with adversity. I even manufacture my own when there isn't enough to suit my tastes. You've probably seen me do it. 😜
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| Before & After - Frankenstein Version August 2017 & September 2017 Vertical incision and drain hole is first surgery Horizontal arc is second surgery |
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