Chris Writes Stuff

This post is gross.  Seriously.  Totally disgusting.  Does poop make you gag?  Stop reading. The Worst Birthday Present Ever My brother and I holding a poop bag filled with chocolate pudding given to him (by me) for his birthday. He should NOT read this kind of post. I write this kind of post. What the hell is an ileostomy ?  It's when the surgeon diverts your small intestine into a plastic bag glued to your abdomen.  It's done to give the rest of the colon a break from poop while the sutures heal.  If there were a teeny, tiny leak at the suture site and an itsy, bitsy amount of poop got into my abdomen, that would be bad.  How bad?  Think catastrophic complications including sepsis, death, permanent  colostomy  and other shitty 😜 things. Speaking of shitty things, lets talk about the logistics.  Nobody takes the time to appreciate poop.  They sit on the toilet, open their phone and wait for things to b...

I haven't posted anything in a while.  Sorry.  Several times I wrote part of a post... then put it aside.  I kept opening it, and then closing it.  I haven't been in a mental place where I could finish and publish it.  Surgery took a lot out of me (get it?) and I'm still recovering. Before & After - Rainbow Version May 2014 & August 2017 It's been over two months since the first surgery.  I was delusional regarding the impact and the time it would take to heal.  I had no idea recovery would be so slow, painful and gross.  I also hadn't planned on having a bag of poop glued to my abdomen for a month.  Surprise! Looking back, the days leading up to surgery are a total blur.  The eye of the storm was a fantastic time but it was also incredibly hectic.  I wanted to accomplish Everything before surgery.  The reality is I was terrified and freaking out but trying to be cool and be a good dad and be a good husband an...